First of all, it’s on brand. Yeah, I like BMW bikes too, but Ducati red? Yummy yummy yummy to my eyeballs. There’s just something about it — sexy, rich, European, like it should be parked outside some rooftop bar in Monaco with champagne in the cupholder (if bikes had cupholders).

Also… this might sound petty, but a couple years ago I knew this guy whose entire personality was “I have a Ducati.” He bragged about it constantly. It was annoying, but also… kinda hot? So now, years later, I make way more money, I’m secure in myself, and I’m in my villain era. Everything my exes bragged about, I go do myself. Feels good.
When I saw the price, I was shocked. Twenty grand. I swear I thought a Ducati was like $100k. I think I just assumed that because it sounds so cool, plus that dude hyped it up so much. When I realized it wasn’t insane money… yeah, ok, sold.
There wasn’t one big “I’m buying this” moment. I’ve always wanted to ride — literally since I was a kid — but my dad used to say, “If there’s one thing I’ll never let you do, it’s get on a bike.” Fast forward to now… I visited my hometown, had some family drama (no, I’m not talking about it), and it just hit me: I have free will. I don’t need to listen to Dad anymore.

Honestly? I just need something dangerous again. Something that scares me a little but also teaches me something. I’ve done skydiving, partying, all the risky stuff… but these days I’m healthy, I’m grown, and I don’t waste my time on destructive crap. A bike is the perfect “healthy” danger. And yeah, part of it came from watching this WWI zombie movie — the only way to escape the Nazis was to ride off on a bike. One guy’s like “I don’t know how,” and I’m sitting there thinking oh shit, I don’t either. What if it’s a zombie apocalypse? What if this is my only way out? Exactly.
Haven’t even ridden it yet — it’s incoming. I’ve got the safety course and a private 1:1 instructor lined up. Top-shelf gear, obviously, because I’m bougie. I’ll take it slow, practice when no one’s around, and stick to empty roads until I’m fully confident. I’ll pick it up fast. The only thing I’m nervous about is other drivers — they’re insane around here.
First ride? I’m hitting these soft-paved backroad mountain roads at night when the desert cools down. Taking a camera and snacks. Gonna find a spot, take some pics of us together… like a date.
This one’s a long-term keeper.